Things to Be Happy About, Vol. 4

If only we'd stop trying to be happy, we'd have a pretty good time.
-- Edith Wharton

It's Thanksgiving this week, which makes this feature especially apropos today, I think. I love Thanksgiving; it's my favorite holiday, and it has surprisingly little to do with food.

In my family, we go to my grandfather's house in Maryland. Usually - and this year is no exception - it's my grandfather and his wife, my parents, me, my brother and sister-in-law and their two kids, an uncle, some cousins, and a great-aunt or two. We gather sometime after noon and congregate in the kitchen, eating appetizers (because if there's one thing there's not enough of on Thanksgiving, it's food), or in the living room. Sometimes there's football on, sometimes not, but even when there is, no one's really paying attention.

My favorite part is that everyone has their own "thing" to do: my grandfather's in charge of the turkey, his wife does the stuffing (and when my great-grandmother was alive, this always started the great stuffing v. dressing debate - for the record, it's stuffing when it's cooked in the turkey, dressing when it's cooked on its own). I'm on mashed potato duty, my mom does vegetables or dessert, my dad's cousin makes homemade bread. The men in my family make the gravy. My grandfather taught my dad who taught my brother. Thank god my brother had a boy; now I'm set for gravy for the rest of my life!

Ok, so it is about the food, I lied. But it's more than that. It's that we have these traditions that revolve around the food. I don't know how any of them started - convenience, I suppose - but I do know that, like that Visa commercial where the hapless customer tries to pay with cash and effs the whole process up, Thanksgiving would be chaos without everyone playing their roles. I love being in the kitchen with all that activity going on around me, but knowing I only have to worry about the giant pot of potatoes in front of me and making sure I accurately report at what time they'll be done so everyone can plan accordingly.

This year, though, I'm also attempting an appetizer and a dessert. I plan to make them at home before I head up to Maryland, so as to minimize the disturbance of the aura in the kitchen. We'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll even win the post-dessert marathon game of Hearts for once.

So, in honor of Thursday, here's a short, Thanksgiving-themed Things to be Happy About:

1. cranberry sauce still in the shape of the can [yeah, we have no pretensions when it comes to cranberry sauce]
2. big Thanksgiving dinners
3. when everyone has their "specialty dish" to make at Thanksgiving
4. family traditions
5. homemade ice cream
6. the "elegant" salt and pepper shakers [this is from a story my great-grandmother used to tell about my grandfather when he was a boy; they went shopping for salt and pepper shakers and he asked if they could buy the "elegant" ones. They did, and we use them to this day]

I hope you'll share some of your Thanksgiving traditions with me in the comments - I'd love to hear about them!

P.S. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that by this time tomorrow, we'll know for sure whether I'm a chicken or not. Dentist. Tomorrow. 4 pm. I'll post an update either way, I promise.

Car Sickness, or, that Feeling You Get When the Monthly Payment's Due

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
-- Scott Adams

So it's done! I traded in my nearly worthless, inspection-failing, 10-year-old Saturn SL for a 2006 berry red Saturn ION2. I dig it so much. It's the newest car I've ever owned, and it's so pretty. Here's a picture. Ok, that's not a picture of my actual car; that's a picture of the car I almost bought this summer, which was a 2007 ION3, but mine looks just like this (except the interior is gray, not tan like this one). Plus, this one has fewer miles on it than that one did.

Between this summer and Monday, I test drove four or five IONs, and ended up buying from a Saturn dealership, which was my preference. I was very happy with the level of service I received from them, which is part of the reason the only cars I’ve ever owned have been Saturns. I still have the balance of the factory warranty on the new one (about 10,000 miles or 18 months), and since I calculated that I will probably only drive about 6,000 miles this year, I'm pretty well set in that department. And, I think I got a pretty good deal, so I am a happy camper.

Things I love about my new car:
1. Power steering
2. Power windows
3. Power door locks (Sensing a trend? My old car was so manual, you practically had to push it to get where you wanted to go)
4. It's automatic (I wavered on this a bit; I love driving stick, but in DC traffic, it's a pain in my ass, so I'm giving it up)
5. Keyless entry! And a key fob! I can freak people out by making the interior light turn on from far away!
6. It's MP3 compatible - now (I assume and hope; I'm not technical and I didn't ask and haven't read the manual yet) I can listen to my iPod through the car stereo!

Things I am not so psyched about:
1. Having a monthly car payment when I only drive my car on weekends (public transportation around here is great, and there's no commuter parking at the nearest Metro station, so I generally don't drive on weekdays).
2. I almost doubled my car insurance payment, since this one's obviously worth more than the other one.
3. I had to leave behind my Universidad de Salamanca sticker because it wouldn't come off in one piece. (I also had to leave my law school sticker and my undergrad alumni sticker, but those are easily replaceable, though I probably won't bother.) I really would like to replace it - I have such good memories of that time - so if any of you feel like searching the internets on my behalf, I'd appreciate it. I did a brief Google, but my Spanish is so rusty the University of Salamanca site makes almost no sense to me.

All in all, though, I think the pros outweigh the cons (key fob!). I am looking forward to the drive to my grandparents’ house for Thanksgiving in complete, automatic transmission-ed, iPod-ed, ease and comfort.

Oh, and a big congratulations to all my law school comrades who just found out today that they passed the New York bar exam! I never had any doubt! Now get back to earning those six-figure salaries!

Things to Be Happy About, Vol. 3

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis.
-- Margaret Bonnano

Sorry for the lateness of this post; I've been dealing with car-related issues all day. The cost of fixing my 10-year-old Saturn so that it will pass inspection is three times what the car is worth, so I am about to become the proud owner of a 2006 berry red ION. I almost drove it home tonight, after test driving it yesterday, but I didn't get financing confirmation until too late in the day to get insurance, so I have to wait until tomorrow. I am not wild about having a car payment again, especially since I drive my car approximately one day a week, but I am psyched to have POWER STEERING again, baby! Wooooo! Pictures to follow.

Anyway, on to this week's list:

1. Memphis Belle (movie)
2. the sights and sounds of an airport or train station
3. a cappella music
4. auctions
5. finding out you're going to be an aunt
6. Fantasy Football
7. cold sesame noodles
8. the time right after you put the babies to bed and go downstairs to clean up [I used to baby-sit a ton when I was a teenager; this was my favorite time because I felt so grown up]
9. rosy cheeks from walking in the cold
10. a cup of tea just before bed
11. cute boys who sing
12. being someone's secret admirer [I'm a big fan of the anonymous gesture]

Weekend Update

That is the best - to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt

The "date" was a success! We went to see Lisa Lampanelli at the Warner Theater in DC last night, and I laughed my ass off! She didn't tell a single joke I can repeat in polite company; I mean, the political-correctness factor was non-existent. I spent a good deal of time thinking, "Oh my god, I can't believe she just said that! Holy crap, and I laughed at that! What is wrong with me?" But it was all in good fun, and, as Hot Wings would say, it's funny because it's true. I haven't laughed so hard since I can't remember when, and it was fantastic.

Afterwards we went to a bar for a couple drinks and just talked; there were 7 of us, 5 from work, plus a husband and a sister. It was good company, and I'm starting to feel like I might have found a place where I fit here. That's my biggest struggle whenever I start something new. It took me until the beginning of second year in law school to find it there; first year was such a struggle for me, personally. After last night, I'm hopeful that it won't take me quite as long here.

I've been a busy bee today. I love weekends; I get so much accomplished. During the week, I get home around 6:15, go to the gym for 45 minutes, come home, make and eat dinner, then watch TV or screw around online til 10 or so, then read and go to bed. I don't ever feel like I have time to do stuff, so everything that needs doing gets done on the weekends.

Today I went to the DMV to finally get my Virginia driver’s license. You’re supposed to do it within 30 days of moving, and I’ve been here three months. What can I say? And it only took an hour and a half. Then I took my car to be inspected so I can register it here, since I’m planning to stay in Virginia forever (or at least until love or wanderlust leads me elsewhere). Again, you’re supposed to do it within 30 days of moving; good thing they don’t really enforce that rule. My car failed both the emission inspection and the safety inspection. My check engine light is on, and that . . . means the computer in my car isn’t talking to something else in my car, so they can’t be sure the emission information is correct. Or something. I don’t know.

My horn died an abrupt death about two months ago, which is why my car failed the safety inspection. I noticed it wasn’t working, and Karen, who was visiting, clued me in that I’d probably blown a fuse. She also found the fuse box in my car and gave me a new fuse from the well-stocked glove compartment of her van (I should maybe learn something from this). I honked the horn, and the new fuse blew immediately. We put in a larger amp fuse, and when I honked the horn again, my poor car gave the most anemic sounding beep you’ve ever heard in your life. Like a dying goose, only one who’s trying not to disturb the other, living geese with his dying. It’s so pathetic. It does nothing to deter the jackasses around here who regularly cut people off. I have to get it fixed it so I can honk properly and stop giving people the finger instead. (I kid.)

I also put together the desk and bookshelf that I was so happy to see delivered on Tuesday, and can I just say, I LOVE THEM. SO MUCH. I've got them both exactly where I want them, and I am typing away at my new desk, and then I look over at my bookshelf, with my barware finally out of the box and on display and my artfully arranged photographs, and I could just die of contentedness. Things like this make me so happy for some reason. Would you like to see it? Of course you would. I don't believe in digital cameras, though, as you may know, so you'll have to settle for the online catalog picture. Mine are all black, and it looks so great, even if I do say so myself. They're set up just like this, right next to each other, except in reverse order.

I did a number of other things today as well that I won’t bore you with, but trust me when I say you’d be impressed with my industriousness. I’m about to make dinner, watch the Friday Night Lights I taped last night, and then I’m ordering Knocked Up from Comcast on Demand (which is my favorite invention) and preparing to laugh my ass off again. At this rate, weigh in on Tuesday should be amazing.

One is Silver, the Other's Gold

Don't make a habit of collecting little keys that lock out the things in your life that scare you. They lock you in.
-- Unknown

So, I have a date. Don't get excited: it's not with the Dentist. It's with a friend from work. Who's married. And a girl. We live in the same apartment complex and often end up on the shuttle home at the same time. We've been talking, and she's very nice. I told her about the Dentist; she thinks I should go for it. She told me about her husband, who lives in Florida, and her brother, who just shipped out to Iraq.

I've never been good at making new friends. Nearly all the people I'm really close to have known me for 5 or more years, and most of them go back farther than that. I don't know what it is, really, although more than one person has told me - once we've become the kind of friends that can say these things to each other - that when they met me, they were afraid of or intimidated by me. This used to surprise me, because I generally don't think of myself as a scary person, or someone people ought to be intimidated by. Truth be told, I'm pretty insecure about a lot of things, and it takes a good deal of puffing myself up to even get out the door most mornings.

A friend from law school, who I adore, recently asked me to be in her wedding. I accepted, of course, and I’m honored, but it truly shocked me to be asked. I didn’t get, even though she’d said so plenty of times before, that she thought of me as such a close friend. I thought of her that way, but something in me didn’t really trust that it was reciprocated (and if she’s reading this, I’m sorry about that).

But I think that's the problem - my insecurity causes me to put up a tough front because I don't trust people not to hurt me. I think it got worse after I lost my hearing, too, because so much changed for me, and people I thought were my friends stopped calling and fell out of my life as if we’d never shared anything at all. I spent the majority of my time in the two and a half years between losing my hearing and leaving for law school by myself. And it wasn’t always by choice; often it was by inertia – I didn’t try, and they didn’t either (the exceptions, and there were three, know who they are). So when I ended up in law school, surrounded by people all the time, I was out of practice and completely overwhelmed. It was just easier to be alone.

But some people made the effort: my suitemate first year, we’ll call her Hot Wings, was a pal literally from day one, always good for a beer and a laugh. Surfer Girl stopped me in the law school library bathroom during the second week of classes, we talked for 20 minutes, and we’ve been friends ever since. The Bride, I met her just before second year at Law Review orientation, and we were stuck like glue the whole year. Third year we were both so busy, and we didn’t have any classes together, so we didn't see each other as often, but it didn’t matter. Without the three of them, I probably wouldn’t have lasted the whole three years. But it took me a long time to really believe, and accept, and understand that they’re my friends. I’m working on this, and I think I’m getting better at it.

A couple of weeks ago, standing in line for the shuttle chatting, Work Friend (shut up - my fake-name-making-up skills were depleted in the previous paragraph) handed me her business card, on the back of which she'd written her cell phone number and her address here in the complex. She told me some people from work were going out that weekend, and asked if I wanted to go, but I had to go down to Richmond to get sworn in, so I couldn't make it. I thought she was just making conversation. Earlier this week at work, though, she IM'd me and said there was an extra ticket to a comedy show on Friday night, and would I like to go. I said yes. She emoticon-ed a smiley face.

I feel nervous, but hopeful. It’s a date.

Things to Be Happy About, Vol. 2

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.
-- John Barrymore

If you're wondering about the history of this feature, see the original post. Comments from me in brackets.

1. Pro baseball players who wear the traditional short pants and long socks
2. mojitos
3. Gerbera daisies
4. listening to a new album over and over
5. 4-inch peep-toe pumps
6. the Santa Fe Chicken Salad from The Cheesecake Factory [I liked this one so much, it's in the notebook twice!]
7. the top of the Empire State Building on a clear day
8. someone who doesn't have to do anything but stand there in order to be sexy
9. having your 18th birthday fall on a Friday
10. having your 30th birthday fall on a Saturday
11. inside jokes
12. the paint mixer at Home Depot
13. old farmouses
14. breakfast for dinner

In other news, T-minus 15 days til the dentist.

Also, Fed Ex rules. I ordered a desk and a bookshelf last Thursday, and they were shipped Fed Ex. They weigh 49 and 50 pounds, according to my shipping invoice. I live on the third floor. Last week, I had to go to the Fed Ex shipping depot to pick up a package that weighed a mere 5 pounds because I was never home when they came to deliver it (because, you know, I work), and they wouldn't leave it (I live in a building where you need a pass key to get in the main door), so I was expecting to have to go pick these packages up, too. I got home tonight at 7:15 to find two giant packages leaning against my door! I don't know how they got in, and I don't care; I'm just psyched I didn't have to leave them in my car and wait for the next time my brother comes to visit to help me carry them up here!

Payday

"I'll never be a rich man, but what happy man ever was?"
-- Jacob, November 1, 2001

You know, I don't worry that much about money. The truth is, I make a comfortable living; I have everything I need, and plenty of things I want (more than necessary, if you believe my mother), and enough to give a little to causes I care about. Don't get me wrong - I have plenty of bills, and I'll probably be in debt til I die for law school, but it all seems to work itself out somehow.

I didn't become a lawyer for the money, and working in the public sector, I don't make the kind of money that makes people think lawyers make a lot of money. I knew when I went to law school that "Big Law" wasn't for me - I'm not interested in 80-hour work weeks, billable hour requirements, corporate law, and wearing a suit every day. I went to school near New York City, though, so many of my classmates went the BigLaw route, and when I first heard that they were making $160,000 right out of the gate (my friends aren't bragging; big-firm salaries are public knowledge), I had a momentary pang of "Maybe I was a little hasty." But I like my job, and I like my life here, and I am grateful that I haven't yet had to work a weekend or a late night (though it's probably inevitable that I will before I leave this job).

During the past several weeks, however, Above the Law has been reporting on year-end bonuses in BigLaw, and the numbers are just staggering: $35,000 for first-year associates (pro-rated, since they didn't start until after the bar, but still); second-years are getting that much, plus "special bonuses" of $10,000 or more. It's mind-boggling, and part of me can't help but think how much easier things would be with that money.

The larger part of me, though, knows I would never really want to do the work required to earn those bonuses. And they do earn them. It's not like they're sitting in their offices, updating their fantasy football teams or shopping at Pottery Barn online (and if it is like that, don't email me; I don't want to know). The people I know in BigLaw are super-smart, they like their jobs (for the most part), and they work their asses off, and they're worth every penny those firms will pay them.

But I'm just sayin': Christmas is coming. I accept gift cards.